


(Don’t Say It Was) For Me

by Kizmet



Series: Endgame related One-Shots [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Iron Dad/Spider-Son
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 15:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18719914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizmet/pseuds/Kizmet
Summary: Afterwards Peter finds a certain picture and has a revelation.Warning:  Endgame Spoilers





	(Don’t Say It Was) For Me

As Colonel Rhodes walked to the front of the room Peter forced himself to loosen his grip on May’s arm for the dozenth time that day. _'What if she’s taken too?’_ Peter remember the unexpected, desperate hug on the battlefield. _‘What if it’s me? Is it me? Does everyone who cares about me die?’_ May never said anything but Peter knew she would have bruises. 

Rhodes paused for a moment, staring at Tony’s picture before turning to face the assembled crowd. “Tony always looked to the future. Even after something as shattering as the Snap he didn’t dwell on the past, he moved forward, he rebuilt. I’ve known Tony since MIT, since he was fourteen. These last five years he built a family and he was happier than I’d ever seen him.

“So when the possibility of reversing the Snap came up,” Rhodes took a deep, unsteady breath. “Tony didn’t do it for himself, he did it for everyone else whose future had been stolen from them. He helped with a plan that involved time travel, crazy as that sounds, over deep fears that the future, the family he’d built after the Snap might be lost. Most of us went out there with nothing left to lose, Tony didn’t. He was one of the truest heroes- Going in spite of what he stood to lose.

“He brought back those who were lost. But not at the cost of those who had rebuilt. Tony, knowing that he wouldn’t survive using the Infinity Stones, put on the gauntlet anyway. He knowingly gave his own life to save the Universe.”

Peter realized he was squeezing May’s arm too hard again only when he felt her fingers digging into wrist as she held onto him with all the strength she possessed. They continued to cling to one another until Rhodes came to collect the last of Tony’s pallbearers. “Do you want your Aunt to come with us?” Rhodes asked quietly as he watch Peter pry himself away from May’s side.

Peter shook his head. “I can do this, Colonel.”

“Never doubted you,” Rhodes replied.

Happy’s cheeks were wet with tears he didn’t bother to wipe away as he slowly drove the limo upstate, taking Tony home. Peter sat beside Rhodes, across from Pepper. Pepper held the small box containing Tony’s ashes in her lap, her daughter pressed up against her side, staring out at the world in silent, hurt confusion.

Peter remembered being in Morgan Stark’s place;  Dressed in dark, solemn colors, too young to really understand why his parents weren’t going to come back. He wanted to say something to make it better for her but knew there was nothing he could say. Her remaining family would help. Time would help but time would blur her memories, stealing away even more of her father. Time healed even as it inflicted its own wounds.

At Tony’s home Peter found himself milling around while the family listened to a farewell message Tony had recorded and the others who’d come for the graveside gathered outside. Aimlessly Peter wandered into the kitchen. As he reached over the sink for a glass of water a picture caught his eye. Standing in Tony Stark’s kitchen, staring at a picture of himself, Peter felt his lungs constrict.

_The hug. The picture. Morgan Stark’s sad eyes._

Peter found himself pressed into a corner. Lightly shaking hands grasping his shoulders as a deep voice said, “Breathe with me. One deep breath. Hold it. Okay. Let it go.”

“Mr. Doctor Wizard?” Peter gasped in confusion.

“Back with us?” Strange asked.

Peter’s gaze sought out the the picture again. “Did he do it for me?” he whispered.

Strange turned, his eyes found what Peter was staring at. “Half the Universe is very abstract Peter,” he sighed. “You are not. I won’t say you didn’t represent all those who were lost in Tony Stark’s mind. But if you must blame someone for his loss, please blame me. In all the futures I saw, Tony was the only one who could be trusted recover what was lost without sacrificing the future.

“Tony made his choice to secure both your future and his daughter’s. Peter, the best thing you can do to honor that choice is to simply accept the gift he gave you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Steve got to swing Mjolnir around to prove that he was worthy. Tony didn’t need to pick up a magic hammer to show he was worthy; the story, not a prop, showed Tony’s heroism. (So Endgame reaffirms what I was thinking with “Tales of Valor”: Tony Stark is the protagonist of the MCU-Avengers, the rest of the cast are only side characters). 
> 
> Tony had a life where he could be happy. He didn’t run off and abandon his family because retirement didn’t suit him. He talked to Pepper, he knew that there was a good chance he wouldn’t survive. He went anyway, for the people who didn’t have a future after the snap, not for himself. He knew he wouldn’t survive using the gauntlet but his first two priorities; bring back those who were lost, do not sacrifice those who remained, who moved forwards after the snap; could be met with his sacrifice. He thought it through, he considered the whole picture and didn't save one group while ignoring another. So he died to save the Universe.
> 
> (Then there's the implications of Steve's choice. To preserve the timeline while getting his happily ever after he must have ignored HYDRA parsiting in SHIELD, he didn't intervene when Bucky was sent to kill Howard and Maria Stark, not even try to save Bucky).


End file.
